Haunted Attractions: www.hauntedattractions.co.uk "The website's quite good, and they do know what they're talking about when it comes to scary stuff, but mostly, they're a bunch of bumbling idiots who all fancy me. I've given them a link because I feel a bit sorry for them. Please understand, boys, this on no account means you're in."

Sweet Dreams: www.scareuk.com "Run by a strange man with silly hair and an even sillier name with his more sensible friend. They do create rather good scare attractions though. If you want to speak to them, take my advice and talk to the sensible friend."

Tulley's Farm: www.tulleysfarm.com "My home for Halloween 2009. It's a farm. There's fruit and other stuff that farms have... Erm... They've got a maze thing... Er... A scarecrow, possibly? Oh, I don't know, most importantly, they've got Shocktober Fest with lots of different scary attractions and I'm there. WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANT TO KNOW?!"

StoryJohn: www.storyjohn.co.uk "This sinister storyteller will chill you to the core with his dark scary tales. Unfortunately he also tells children's stories. Everyone has their faults."